whiny whinging rant ahead read at your own risk.
-i hate my hair. not curly, not straight. wont do a damned thing and the color is all wrong
-dribbled toothpaste on my shirt so had to go change
-tried on three pairs of jeans (including one i just bought last night) and chucked the lot of them into the corner – they all make my ass look like a refridgerator and they’re too wide at the bottom. i wanted to show off my mid-calf high converse chuck shoes.. didnt work. went back to my grubby, too light colored straighter leg, too short jeans and the same shirt i wore yesterday and the day before that
-am not used to wearing makeup, but have been putting a wee bit on every day for two weeks. was rushed for time (thanks to the toothpaste and jeans dilemma) and wasnt going to bother.. but am now not used to seeing my face without it. so, put some on
-have discovered i’m not used to wearing black denims any more. used to wear them exclusively (make my ass look smaller and combine with a bright color on top, balances me out). i’ve worn my ‘too light colored’ jeans for nearly a year so now black look too dark. sigh
-have also discovered that nearly everything in my wardrobe is either green (khaki) or brown. my hair has changed color as well as texture. used to be dark blond (like honey). it grew back in nearly black. Khaki looks disgusting on me now. brown makes me look tired and worn out. i’m now wearing black and warm grey but only have about 3 shirts to rotate for the entire work week
-have also discovered that gaining 20 extra pounds is not a good thing. nothing fits anymore. usually weight would go to my ass. not anymore. its settled around my middle and my shoulders and i’m gettng those arms that flap when you wave. so.. all my tshirts are too tight.
i think i’m having an identity crisis today. i think i’ve been having one for months actually. its not me i see in the mirror anymore – someone has invaded my body, plumped it up where it should be small, dyed my hair, given me a bad perm and only permed half of it, and has left blotches on my neck that werent there two years ago. I know why i’m stressed about how i look today. i’m supposed to go to a sound check party tonight to see State of Shock and i’m freaked about looking good. which is weird cause its not like i even know much about them let alone am ga-ga over any of the guys in the band. maybe its an age thing – i want to look as good as people 2/3 my age.
//end of whiny whinging rant
