Comments for The Lives Of Others

Comment on Alone by Voodoolady

Voodoolady — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:55:45 +0000

Get your arse off that couch and go somewhere to meet people.

Comment on I want my son back by Jo

Jo — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:33:17 +0000

Oh, god. I’m sorry.

3 months is no time though. It will get quieter, but you have to go through this, for a while. Maybe you have to just submit to the grief for a while?

Keep talking to your close ones, join a bereavement support group, make some friends who feel the same about their lost ones. There is also lots of free bereavement counselling, your local health centre could help you set it up. I know someone who found it wonderful.

Don’t feel like you should have to be over this feeling. I think it must be necessary, you have to just feel your way through. I’m sorry you’ve been dealt such a cruel hand.

Comment on Alone by anotherlife

anotherlife — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:28:32 +0000

It’s been two years for me and I wonder the same thing. And I’m not one of those women that only wants to have sex every couple of weeks, either.

Comment on Alone by Maxi Cane

Maxi Cane — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:40:05 +0000

What’s your number….?

Comment on Baby blues by Author

Author — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:17:39 +0000

We were together for almost a decade, we discussed children many times over that time, by the time we were married I couldn’t stand to be apart. Sorted it out before? And what would we have done, broken up? I love him, and he’s enough. I guess I’ll just have to live with it, your right I should have worked it out 10 years ago. Like I said, childhood trauma… Meant for many years I thought I couldn’t have kids. Found out in 07 I could. Should have discussed it then.

Comment on I want my son back by Another Reader

Another Reader — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:31:20 +0000

That’s so sad and I do feel for you so very much.

I’ve tried several ways to find words but really all I can do is extend my warmest sympathy and hopes that you will start to feel better in time. Hugs from a stranger.

Comment on Baby blues by Lilly

Lilly — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:14:54 +0000

You should have sorted it out before you got married. I think it would be helpful for you if you could sit down and tell your husband what you are feeling and see if you can come to a compromise.

Comment on I want my son back by Lilly

Lilly — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:13:13 +0000

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Having been through the mill, in my own way in the past, I can somewhat understand the process you are going through although we all go through it differently. Grief is a long slow process but please be assured it does get a bit easier as the days pass and in time its something you learn to live with, but never something you will get over.

As for normal, I don’t think there is such a thing. Talk as much as you can, keep a diary of your thoughts and perhaps get a listening ear service or a counsellor to help you talk about your problems and listen in a compasionate and caring manner.

I wish you well, and thank you for sharing with us. Take care.

Comment on I want my son back by Li

Li — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:57:04 +0000

You will never be “normal” again or be the same person. You will become a new person hardened to what life throws at you but you can and have to try to adjust. Move on is not the right word adjust is more correct because you will only ever adjust to your situation . You will not like it and want it that way but you will adjust. The normality you feel for those few hours over time increases and at the end of yr one you will feel like more of your day is your own and you feel happier for longer. Then yr and half you will be further along the road and you will feel it for a bit longer. That is the way it goes until eventually your life will have fully adjusted, you will be stronger and more able to cope.
You will never be over the loss but you will be able to think about your son without feeling like you life is crumbling . It takes time, believe me.
A word of advice though it is so important to talk to a professional maybe once a week in this early stage, they will be your outlet to talk about your son and your loss. I didn’t go in those early years and it came back to haunt me like a bang about 7 years later. You do not want that!! Talk talk talk its key. Pay someone to listen you will not regret it. Good Luck!

Comment on I want my son back by Séamus

Séamus — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:49:38 +0000

I lost my father when I was very young, he himself in his thirties. I internalised it all, buried my grief deep inside, became introverted, myself alone, even though surrounded by a loving extended family. I think you need to reach out to your loved ones in what ever way to can, to help ease your pain, even the slightest.

Comment on i miss my son by Annie

Annie — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:48:55 +0000

I’m so so sorry. I really hope life gets easier for you; I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through.

Comment on i miss my son by Sarrina

Sarrina — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:28:00 +0000

I miss my son, too. You don’t have to tell me the pain in your heart, because it is in mine, too. I hope you find a way to lesson your pain.

Comment on I kept his texts by Amy

Amy — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:33:53 +0000

You are only prolonging ! Its over by sounds of it! Delete messages and get o with your life! He will move on and all you will have are crappy texts that no longer mean anything!

Comment on i miss my son by Lilly

Lilly — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:04:20 +0000

I don’t know the circumstances of why you miss your son but your post sounds so painful. I just want to wish you well and hope that the pain eases somewhat on a daily basis.

Comment on Please by Lilly

Lilly — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:02:27 +0000

Communicate with this person of how you are concerned about them so. But don’t tell them they can’t do anything as they are free to do as they please, not as you please. Good luck with it.

Comment on Don’t. by Please « The Lives Of Others

Please « The Lives Of Others — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:38:12 +0000

[...] Posted in Uncategorized http://thelivesofothers.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/dont/ [...]

Comment on Don’t. by G

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:49:49 +0000

oppsadaisy… na na na naaaa na

Comment on Don’t. by A Hive in Limerick

A Hive in Limerick — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:40:29 +0000

courage is fire, and bullying is smoke! you sound like the latter.

Comment on Don’t. by Lilly

Lilly — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:25:28 +0000

Oh thats nice bully boy tactics. Let the person do as they wish and learn from their own mistakes. They might not regret their actions.

Comment on Not waving, drowning by Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:47:08 +0000

I’m drowning too, today, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Take some solace from not being the only one.

Comment on Not waving, drowning by Angel

Angel — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:23:04 +0000

I read this post last week and it has stayed with me ever since. I feel that drowning sensation too. When it comes to fighting or giving up I often feel the weight of everything pushing me down below. Talk to someone – they will help keep you afloat.

Comment on Someone’s Watching – Part 4 by whoopsadaisy

whoopsadaisy — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:13:02 +0000

Oh cripes, I had to read a few of the other posts after that one just to calm me down, in the house on my own :O

Comment on Am I sane, or am I so crazy I just think I am? by Clavin

Clavin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:57:30 +0000

Once again, please do it!

Comment on Not waving, drowning by original poster

original poster — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:37:56 +0000

The more you stay in bed the less serotonin (happy hormone) you produce. Try and force yourself get only 8 hours kip. Take hot baths, do good deeds, exercise for at least 1/2 hour (in a row) a day. If that doesn’t work talk to a G.P. Avoid anti-depressants if possible. They tend to rewire your head amd make things worse. Also, some doctors have an economic incentive in prescribing them. This should pass tho.

Comment on I miss my Son by original poster

original poster — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:31:04 +0000

It probably wont last forever. He’ll probably grow up and abandon the confusion. I would suggest you back off and email him monthly reminding him you’re there for him if he needs you. When he sees perspective and makes a decision or hits rock bottom he’ll be back.

Comment on The girl in the little gold dress by original poster

original poster — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:23:25 +0000

You should have fvcked her, you gobshite.

Comment on How do you know? by original poster

original poster — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:17:18 +0000

Ya big dirty hussey.

Comment on Confused by original poster

original poster — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:11:16 +0000

That’s amazing. I feel I have so much in common wiht you. I’m a straight man who also has lesbian dreams. Maybe you and Angel could hook up and we could all meet.

Comment on Not waving, drowning by fionbarr

fionbarr — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:09:08 +0000

somebody promised you easy?
You are the center do with it what you will, remember what comes easy has little value.

Comment on Someone’s Watching – Part 4 by Angel

Angel — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:12:07 +0000

Haha brilliant. You have us hooked.